I used to think I was shy. Now I know my body was just trying to keep me safe

“When I was young, I used to shut down whenever I had to speak in public.”

My heart would race, my breath would quicken, and my mind would go blank. I thought it was shyness—but later, I learned it was my body’s way of saying, “I don’t feel safe.”

Our autonomic nervous system (ANS) constantly scans for cues of safety and threat, often beyond our awareness. Polyvagal Theory describes three main states we move through:

🟩 Safe (Ventral Vagal) – calm and connected

🟨 Mobilized (Sympathetic) – tense and ready for action

🟥 Immobilized (Dorsal Vagal) – frozen or shut down when things feel overwhelming

For me, standing up to speak triggered a shift from safety (green) to overwhelm (red)—a protective response, not a flaw.

Over time, I discovered Vipassana meditation, which deepened my somatic awareness and supported vagal regulation. Through mindfulness and slow breathing, I learned to return my body to safety—and my voice followed.

When someone retreats, what they may truly need isn’t a push, but presence. Co-regulation helps them feel safe enough to return to themselves.

If this resonates with you, I’d love to connect and exchange ideas. 🌿